Fear

everyone wish they can do whatever they want to do. maybe they want to jump from cliff, or even fly in the sky. some want just do the right thing, go the right track, others just loose in their way and go to the dark side. we feel and almost believe that, that who we are, what we want to do and how we want to be in this life. if it doesn't corrupt your soul, you'll be just fine. but if it does, you won't know what to do. most of us want to stay like that forever, because we can do want we want to, but we don't like how it burns your soul.

some of us who have the guts will u-turn  the ride and get back to the right way. others just too scare to get away. they scared with what's waiting for them ahead. or maybe they think they aren't strong enough to deal with it. they just wish thing will be just fine on their own. maybe some miracle would happen. but what frequently happen is, they dying slowly from inside out. then we realize that it's too late to change things.

the really sad thing is we can't accept or admit things that we like are bad things. we enjoyed what we do. we had fun. we were happy. but the happiness suddenly turned to be the scariest monster live within us. that's where the pain comes. it's not fun anymore. we aren't happy at all. a little too soon, we realize we've dependent on it. like we're going to die if we leave. and finally we come to the cross road; whether to leave or stay.

it's not been easy to face something that we think we can't face. little of us who has the courage face the fear fiercely  but most of us use detour to get away with it.

we wish we can just stay with it, so we can stay away from reality. but the truth is we can never run away with anything. we have to face our fear one way or another. that way we can be a better person.