Shaky

so today is saturday finally. finally i can breathe. since last week, my schedule is full with my university's program and my project program. one of my friend is going to practical next semester and she get practical at the petronas. she was soo happy and she still did. well, im happy for her. just wondering will i ever get a place for practical?

my life is to be honest is okay. just busy with my final year project. my personal life.. i don't know. maybe it's a bit shaky because we both busy with our own stuff and don't have time to talk with each other.
i;m a bit sad because he is the only person i talk about everything but i don't anyone to talk with now. it makes me feel to just go back to JB.

being in the final year, and desperately need to improve my pointer with having a perfectionist supervisor and a high expectation from my family, sometimes i just want to sit in the corner and cry. i can't do all of those things. i'm not perfect. never been perfect since i was a child.

my boyfriend keeps constantly support me to do the all those thing, just do the best i can do. no need to be as perfect as people want me to. yeah, he's sweet. but i'm not sure how long we can get together. i mean like we've been together for 3 years but he still feels that he's too young to think about marriage, whereas me... most of my friends is married already. so, i feel bad about it. all of them asked me when im going to marry. i don't have the answer. i'm not ready either. i;ve too many flaws to be someone's life accompany. just the environment is being pushy and i want to get out of this environment.

the funny thing is, people always said that i look happy. i always wanted to laugh with that statement. gosh, what will they think if they know what i always feel?