today it feels like a tough day for me to get through. i don't understand myself. i told someone that i'm happy that i'm single, but then the fact is..i don't. instead, that person that i talk with is actually the person that i want to be with now.
i don't get me. it' feels like i don't who i am anymore. tomorrow i have test and i behave like this today.. i don't know whether i'm gonna get through tomorrow or not. i don't know whether i can do my test.
i tried to study today, but then..everything seems like cannot get into my head. like there is something blocking, or something that is keep spinning in my head. maybe i just need to distance myself. focus with what i have right now. i don't want to repeat my mistake again, but then Allah seems like testing me with the same thing, until i feel like i'm tired with all of this thing. feels like i want to suicide myself.
i need to have bath. i'm mixed up already now. i hate myself.
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