The silence

da lame aku x post pape kat blog aku ni. bukan aku x nak post, tapi aku cam x de bende nak share kt sini. eventhough aku tengah period, yang mana selalu nye aku suke taip something waktu aku period, sekarang ni..aku x rase nak tulis pape.

tapi de gak faktor luaran yang wat aku malas nak menaip kat blog ni. first of all da tentu la pasal kelajuan internet aku, yang mana asik2 lembab je.
faktor len lak..aku cam sort of..found someone. cam kelakar je, sebab waktu tu..means sekarang ni la..aku cam da give up ngan relationship. but then, suddenly die datang. die x de la cam lelaki yang aku nak; chubby n cute, but then kurus cam my ex-bf. die memenuhi pe yang aku nak kan dari seorang lelaki. seorang yg protective of me, seorang yang leh didik aku, seorang yang respect aku. but then, he is so sensitive. aku cam sentiase menjaga tutur kata aku, spaye aku x upset kan die scare x sengaja. mmg agk ssh bagi aku sbb aku..cam sgt2 spontaneous, so..aku kene fikir dl pe yg aku cakap. donno la. but then, i can't let him go now. i won't.

A walk away expert

ramai yang mempersoalkan nape aku nak tinggalkan dunia whoring ni, sebab i was fun. I was so good in this world. Maybe I was the best partner on bed. But then, nape aku nak walk away?

The answer is quite easy.This is all about my future. I think, untuk mendapatkan bakal suami @ pasangan hidup yang baek, aku kene memperbetulkan diri aku dulu. Seryesli, mane2 lelaki kat dunia ni, kalo nak cari seorang isteri, die x kan pilih perempuan yang bergelumangan hidupnya dengan dosa, @ perempuan yang berkali2 di sentuh lelaki. Pendek kata, mereka mencari perempuan yang boleh mendidik, menjaga dan memberi kaseh sayang yang secukupnya kepada anak2 mereka. Begitu jugak perempuan cam aku.

Aku nak lelaki yang baek, yang boleh mempertahankan aku, yang boleh mendidik aku, untuk menjadi perempuan yang lebih baek. Okay...fine la..sex is important in marriage life, but then x semestinya sex is everything. Memang x sume orang leh jadi the best sex partner, tapi kalo si suami tu terangkan, yang die suke cam ni, dan cam ni, insya-Allah si isteri akan ikot.

Semalam aku de chat ngan sorang mamat ni. die cakap die de banyak skandals. just skandal jek la. sebab die da de calon isteri. ok, stakat tu, fine la. but then, suddenly he mentioned that his future wifey tu open-minded. means, future wifey tuh, x kesah die have sex ngan sesape, dan begitu gak sebaliknya. I mean, kalo la bende ni still berlaku pas alam perkahwenan, pe agaknya yang akan terjadi dalam rumahtangga mereka? cam..aku x leh bayangkan pe dan cam ne anak mereka tuh nanti.
ntah la. i don't know.

Hiayaaa....banyak betol dugaan bile nak kuar dari dunia ni. it was true...what my friend said to me: to get involve in this business is easy, but then, to turn around back, it's the hardest part.

Harry Potter and The Deadly Hollows

Tadi aku baru jek balek dari menonton citer harry Potter and The Deadly Hollows. Quite fascinating actually. Aku x sangke lak yang director akan wat citer 80% ikot dalam buku 2. I mean, buku tuh, memang sangat2 tebal, dan jalan citernye pon sangat2 panjang. Quite frankly, actiors tuh sume pon bawak watak ngan baek. Thumbs up!!

Anyway, Seriously, sesape yang nak tengok citer ni memang nak kene bace buku die dulu, baru leh faham ngan baek la. Tapi keburukan bace buku ni plak, ko da tau pe yang akan jadi seterusnye. cam hilang gak la nikmat tengok citer tu. tapi x pe. still, citer ni maseh lagi best.

selaen dari citer harry Potter ni, aku baru mule perasan, bile aku ignore tentang die, aku x de rase rindu sangat nak tengok FB die. cm ari ni... Aku kan jenjalan kat JB satu ari, n x bukak FB satu ari, so...just I think, I just have to ignore him. Just..maybe, this isn't that bad. This isn't bad at all. Maybe this will pass soon.

Cosmetics

Di sebabkan aku jenis perempuan yang sukekan cosmetics, lalu terdetik di hatiku, untuk search tentang cosmetics ni. sbena nye aku da lame terfikir, just baru sekarang baru teringat. ngehngehngeh...

ok.. let's get started. first of all, we have to know first what is cosmetics. Cosmetics are anything applied to the face or body in order to improve your appearance. Cosmetics include anything from cold cream, hand cream, eye cream, astringent, after-shave lotion, suntan lotion, talcum, bath powder, body paint, solid perfume, bath oil, bath gel, hair dye, hair bleach, mouthwash, nail polish remover, mustache wax, facial pack, mud pack, toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, cream rinse, hair mousse, styling gel, hair spray, shaving soap, shaving cream, shaving foam, depilatory, deodorant, antiperspirant and the usual facial makeup.

secare ringkasnye, kosmetik ni da lame wujud, sejak zaman firaun lagi da de. tapi aku bukan nak ketengahkan kosmetik zaman tuh, tapi nak ketengahkan cosmetics yg de sekarang. sejak bila bile brand2 or kosmetics ni naek.

Brief Timeline of Cosmetics

1900: Black entrepreneur Annie Turnbo begins selling hair treatments, including non-damaging hair straighteners, hair growers, and hair conditioners door-to-door.

1904: Max Factor migrates from Lodz, Poland, to the United States, and four years later to Los Angeles, where he sells make-up to movie stars that does not cake or crack.

1909: French chemist Eugene Schueller develops the first safe commercial hair dye. In 1910, he names his company L'Oreal.

1905: Sarah McWilliams begins to sell a hair grower door-to-door. After she married Charles J. Walker, she became known as Madam C.J. Walker and incorporated her company in Indianapolis in 1911.

1909: Florence Graham and cosmetologist Elizabeth Hubbard open a salon on Fifth Avenue in New York, which Graham will rename Elizabeth Arden.
Edna Johnson and Theresa Thomas
near a table holding up
cosmetics and smiling

1914: T.J. Williams founds Maybelline, which specializes in mascara.

1915: Lipstick is introduced in cylindrical metal tubes.

1922: The bobby pin is invented to manage short (bobbed) hair.

1932: Charles and Joseph Revson, nail polish distributors, and CharlesLackman, a nail polish supplier, found Revlon, which sells nail polish in a wide variety of colors.

1932: Lawrence Gelb, a New York chemist, brings home from Paris a hair color product that penetrates the hair shaft, and starts a company called Clairol. He opens a company named after the product, Clairol. In 1950, he introduces Miss Clairol Hair Color Bath, a one-step hair coloring product.


1933: A new method for permanent waving, using chemicals, which doesn't require electricity or machines, is introduced.

1935: Pan-cake makeup, originally developed to look natural on color film, was created by Max Factor.

1941: Aerosols are patented, paving the way for hair spray.

1944: A Miami Beach pharmacist, Benjamin Green develops sunscreen to protect soldiers in the South Pacific.

1958: Mascara wands debut, eliminating the need for applying mascara with a brush.

1961: Cover Girl make-up, one of the first brands sold in grocery stores and targeted to teens, is introduced by Noxema.

1963: Revlon offers the first powdered blush-on.

then, after that naek la brand2 len..dan evolusi kosmetiks bermule.

When Hermione cried

I was watching "Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince" with my brother, and I realized one of the theme song really melancholy. The song is when Hermione cried on Harry's shoulder. I tried to find the song, and i got it! hehehehe.

Actually, I'm an art lover. I used to paint. I paint anything that caught my eyes. I used to wrote short stories. Mostly, how it feels being sexually abuse, how it feels being a bird in the cage, or stuff. Then, when I went to further my study, I stopped writing and painting. Then, I lost my touch. Then, I just listen and watch art. I want so much to go to the art gallery or museum. but then, I don't have anyone to go with.

About guitar, I like to listen and watch people play guitar. I love to listen to the string's sound. If the guitar is pluck perfectly, the sound is...really amazing. I tried to learn how to play guitar, but then, with only two months vacation, it's hard to learn all of the songs and all of the notes. I just managed to play on one or two song, which are of course the notes are easy to pluck and play. then, after study for six months I forgot already all the notes. And finally, I gave up. So, I just watch my brothers playing guitar.

The song...when Hermione cried on Harry shoulder, reminds me of someone. Someone that I didn't really thought that I would remember. Someone that I like at the present. I thought I just admire him, or maybe crush on him. But, apparently I don't. I think I fall in love with him. I don't know. I started to notice that, I want him in my life. But then again, I won't. He is away good enough for me. I should follow my instinct, that I shouldn't confess on him. And now, I hurt already. I've made a stupid step again. I should've look into myself before confess. I'm not perfect. Not nearly perfect. I'm ugly inside. I'm not even pretty. I have to forget about him, and get move on. Now, I'm afraid to surf FB in the night. Just surf in the morning. This is stupid. I always want to erase this feeling, but then, when I look at him, I remember everything. Even I dreamed about it recently. How he won't accept me, and I cried in the dream. I didn't know that he was that important to me. I thought it was a crush.

A confession

Finally, i had a courage to confess, how i admire him last night. i meant, the guy who i like. Then, suddenly he replied, he didn't buying it. then, i explained and until now, he doesn't reply to me.
i feel like a stupid right now, confess to someone that will not approve me. my friend asked me, do i just..admire him or more? i don't really know. i just..i just know that i like him. i always look at his profile at FB and in the other website that i surf (fyi, he is also have account in that website), and i downloaded his picture. (one only...ermm...two actually.)
well, it's not my fault. i mean, he is so cute. i don't know what makes him attractive to me. but then, he is so cute.
and right now, i feel like the most stupid person live on earth. i feel like i want to de-activate my FB, but then, it'll look like I'm hoping that he will accept me. and i don't want him to think like that. it's just..at least, i told him already how i felt about him. that's all.

why are you being so...overprotected to me?

I know I'm the only daughter of yours, but I'm 22 years old already for god sake! I know you care to me, you love me, but i need to have life here. I'm in the best time right now, and i want to fulfill my life with something that i want to do. so, that one day when i get old, and i look back, i won't regret anything.

the other day, there was a website that i like to surf. and there was a thread, about a father's condition to a guy that want to date with his daughter. i knew, my father would say those things. exactly the same thing. donno how long he will be this overprotected.