A happy coincidence

it's funny you know..when suddenly, one tiny thing occured in your life, changes everything.
it's like when you lost in hope, then suddenly a guy came and turn it on.. give you the hope back, that you can change, and ergo let go your past.

i figured out why i'm different from other girls, is because i'm not emotionally talk about myself. not emotionally talk about your past, on how it screwed yourself. and how it screwed you perspective on life, which makes you give up on everything.
when you give up on life, it feels like it doesn't matter if you aren't success in what you do, because you don't care anymore.
it feels like you want to suicide yourself, but slowly. like torturing yoruself till dead.

but when you screwed up and it effect to people that you love, you started to hate yourself. you thought your decision won't effect anyone else in your life. but when it does, you need to fix it. to make it better. you started to starighten yourself, straighten your thought, and focus on what you do. you figured out you need to avoid making mistake so that no one would hurt anymore.

but when you do a tiny mistake, you start to cursing and yelling at yourself because you make mistake again. you afraid things will be back as it were. you angry with yourself so that you won't repeat it again.

that's the whole story. the secret one.

the secret one that anyone should never know. you used to hide it well, till last few days. your laptop accidentally got infected by virus (ok, it's not accidentally. it was my fault.), and accidentally people that you used to help you with laptop's probs wasn't there. and you accidentally, let a guy from nowhere, access your laptop. within few hours, he accidentally managed to figured the secret one.

you try to hide it, but he kept on digging, untill there is no way to hide. unless you open-up. and you did. he lectured you on something that is accidentally something that you want to hear, although it was so painful to swallow.

it's funny because the guy that told you everything about your life was a guy that never knows about yourself, and yet he was right about everything. it's a funny coincidence actually. don't you think? he accidentally got acces my laptop when i don't let anyone touch my laptop even your bestfriend, he acidentally 'sees' my problem and accidentally managed to make me talk.

i dont know about this guy. either he used to have friend like me, or he was like me. either way, he was right.